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Full Name: Kilroy Darby McDooley
Date of Birth: March 15, 1968
Place of Birth: Uncle Liam's shed in Ballyshannon, Ireland
Education: Kilcullen Jr High, Acme Truck Driving Academy, NRA summer camp
Languages: English
Favorite Foods: Steak 'ums, chocolate donuts
Favorite Film: Zapped
Living Relatives: Parents, Grandparents, Uncle Liam (See Below)
Hobbies: Watching Hurling, Coroners, Paintball, "quarters" |
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Kilroy McDooley was born the son of sheep herders in a quiet corner of Ireland. Fearing he might fall victim to an ancient family curse that involves being killed by a possessed flounder, Kilroy was sent to Arkham in the United States to stay with his grandmother, Molly McDooley. A devout Catholic, the doting Molly raised him as best she could, with occasional visits from her son, Kilroy's uncle Liam. Liam was a pagan and a world traveler. He would drop in every few months with another story of his adventures. Despite Liam's detailed, colorful tales of his travels to exotic lands, Kilroy was never able to ascertain what he actually did for a living. Liam habitually wore the garb of an Arctic sea captain, but he also was deathly afraid of any form of marine life. When Kilroy was in college, Liam almost died of a heart attack when he was mistakenly served a Filet O' Fish at a McDonald's drive-thru. Based on his family's unfortunate history with all things aquatic, Kilroy has a violent hatred of all fish, as well as aquarium decorations. Kilroy still lives with his grandmother, who is absurdly old, but still wily and active. |
Kilroy's Parents- Patrick and Megan McDooley |
Kilroy first met Dr. Bustoffson when they both happened to be in the UK investigating mysterious occult developments. Kilroy had returned to his homeland at the request of his mother, who feared the family curse may have taken Patrick McDooley. With Barney's help, they of course discovered that Kilroy's father had simply gotten lost while out on a drunken binge, and had spent the week trapped in a hole in the ground.
Kilroy's Grandparents- Molly and Seamus McDooley |
Not long afterwards, Kilroy became a founding member of S.P.O.N.G.E., specializing in tactical weapons, military strategy, and telemarketing.
Kilroy is a man of contradictions. He is a radically liberal and vocal supporter of gun control, and yet is the proud owner of a gun collection rivaling that of FBI Headquarters. He rationalizes this dichotomy by his classification of himself and, by extension, S.P.O.N.G.E., as above the law. After all, interdimesional beasties do not respond well to mediated arbitration. He is also working feverishly to develop weapons technology that will allow him to obliterate extraterrestrial and transdimensional creatures without affecting human life forms. |
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Kilroy is hopelessly in love with Alison Witherspoon, the county coroner. She worked at the Psyonics Research Desk at the Arkham Library when they first met. Their relationship was largely based on Kilroy keeping large amounts of overdue books so that Ms. Witherspoon will leave stern messages on his answering machine. He still finds this deeply stirring. He occasionally sends her packages with tokens of his affection, gathered during his work battling evil. Unfortunately, Alison does not share his romantic view of such items as minotaur scalps, historian obituaries, and "I Defeated the Immortal Goat Society And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt" T-shirts.
To assuage his loneliness, Kilroy operates as an extremely discreet (and unlikely) lothario. When any case puts S.P.O.N.G.E. in contact with an attractive but quirky woman, Kilroy beds her in short order. Kilroy is not one to brag, so these liaisons are usually discovered only when Barney intercepts a plaintive phone call or fax from yet another jilted lady. This occasionally causes friction between Kilroy and Barney, especially when Kilroy beds a woman who is still possessed or under the power of a chicken cult.
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Kilroy's Uncle Liam McDooley |
But above all, Kilroy is loyal to S.P.O.N.G.E. and to Barney, who is the only person alive he considers a friend.
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